by Daniel Weiss

Researchers conclude that apart from high-risk youth who routinely engage in problematic behavior online, most youth are not at particular risk when using social networking sites.¹ Parents can help ensure social networking is an enjoyable and safe experience for children by becoming familiar with social networking tools, interacting with their child online and setting reasonable limits for online activities. 

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Tips for parents
 
The Girl Scout Research Institute conducted a large study on teen girls and social media in 2010 and published a list of social networking tips for parents. Key points are included below. Read the full report here.
 
Tip #1: Don’t be afraid of social networking sites! Educate yourself and become comfortable using them.
 
Key points:

• You don’t need to be a social networking expert, but it is important to understand the technology and how social networking sites operate.
• It’s also critical to familiarize yourself with the kinds of information people share with others and how privacy controls work.
• You need to understand that just as you know where your children go “physically” after school, you also need to know where they are going online.
• Work to strike a healthy balance between giving your children their privacy and room to grow as teenagers, and monitoring their activities.

Tip #2: Have highly specific conversations with your children about safe versus risky social networking.
 
Key points:

• The majority of teens (85%) say they’ve had a conversation with their parent(s) about social networking behavior, but half admit that they aren’t as careful as they should be.
• Sit down with your child and have a conversation about safe social networking behavior.
• Parents who engage and reach decisions with their children tend to observe less risky behavior than do parents who simply give in to their children’s demands or force their children to do what they (the parents) think is best.

Tip #3: Help teens steer clear of gossiping/bullying in person and online.
 
Key points:

• Teen girls report that social networking can be somewhat fake: teens often paint different pictures of themselves online (fun, funny, social) than they do in person (nice, kind).
• Educate your girls about the dangers of gossiping and bullying. Chances are your daughter has been on both the giving and receiving end of gossiping.
• If you as a parent model respectful behavior, your children are more likely to follow suit.

Tip #4: Understand and optimize the benefits of social networking sites.
 
Key points:

• Ignoring social networking sites or adopting the attitude that they are only a negative influence may be counterproductive, especially when communicating with young people.
• Figure out ways to better understand what your child is doing on these sites (both the good and the bad) rather than dismiss or criticize their behavior outright.

Tip #5: Encourage striking a balance between social networking and face- to-face time.
 
Key points:

• Young people may devote countless hours to social networking sites, but they still prefer face-to-face communication.
• Parents should take time to actively encourage face-to-face get-togethers.
• Parents need to model healthy face-to-face social interactions and relationships.

Tip #6: Promote self-confidence and healthy self-esteem with your children whenever possible.
 
Key points:

• Girls with low self-esteem are more susceptible to negative experiences on social networking sites than are girls with high self-esteem.
• Many girls view social networking as a safe forum for “trying on” alternate versions of themselves.
• Helping your child to develop social skills—on- and offline—is a great way to keep her safe and help develop her confidence in the social arena as well as in other environments.

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Guiding your child in the social networking world
 
Popular parenting author Vickie Courtney drafted the following list to help parents guide their children through the social networking world. See the full article at Focus on the Family.

1. Use privacy controls to limit public information and encourage your child to only have online friends they also know in person.
2. Make sure your child knows not to share personal information such as full name, city, phone numbers, email address or anything else that might allow strangers to identify or contact him.
3. Review your child’s profile through the eyes of a predator. If anything stands out as enticing or personally revealing, remove it. This process can also aid discussions about online dangers.
4. Make sure all posted pictures are appropriate. (Also, be sure to disable the GPS tagging in cell phones and digital cameras.)
5. Keep all postings polite, clean and appropriate. If friends begin to post inappropriate or mean content, it might be time to reevaluate friendships.
6. Make sure your child knows to contact you if she encounters anything offensive, sexual or otherwise uncomfortable. If needed, take the matter up with the police.
7. Remind your child that schools, teachers, colleges, employers and other organizations are searching social networking sites for information about potential students or employees. Don’t post anything that could jeopardize future goals.
8. Make sure you have the passwords and login names for all your child’s social networking profiles.

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Other resources
 
Online security firm McAfee has developed a handy and easy-to-read resource, A Parent’s Guide to Social Networking Sites. This resource includes helpful links and provides the following five lessons for parents with social networking tweens and teens:
Lesson 1: What Is Social Networking?
Lesson 2: Why Social Networking Can Be Risky
Lesson 3: Cyberbullying
Lesson 4: Online Predators
Lesson 5: Invasion of Privacy, Malicious Impersonation, and Identity Theft

 

Daniel Weiss is ROCK's director of research and national outreach.
 

Endnotes